You gotta be cruel to be kind.

The platitude 'You gotta be cruel to be kind' was probably just a sadist validating themselves, but they were onto something.

As an aside, I don't understand S&M. Sadism by itself and masochism by itself is ok, but together?! The whole point of sadism is to subjugate someone. However, if the 'victim' is willingly subjugated, as a masochist would be, then its not really subjugation, is it?

In reality, the sadist is being kind to the masochist and the masochist is depriving the sadist of their desires. Role reversal.

Sorry to all those whose sex live I've just ruined, but you should have thought this through, people.

Anyway. Back to the main topic: 'being cruel to be kind' is a true truism if ever there was one.

Take, for example, someone preparing you a sandwich for the first time. They smother it with vegemite and pineapple jam. After reluctantly taking a bite against your better judgment and once the gagging subsides they ask you "Do you like it?"

If you were a kind idiot, you'd probably say "It's the best vegemite and pineapple jam sandwhich I've ever had." While probably true given that someone would be unlikely to eat such a thing twice, the problem here is that the perpertrator of this crime against humanity will be encouraged in their ineptitude.

I would reply more truthfully thus: "That's the most disgusting travesty against nature I've ever had the misfortune to become aware of!" While this may have a short term negative affect on morale, relationships, etc., the long term good justifies this. The sandwhich maker will either attempt to improve their skills to the benefit of all or they'll give up and save the world from their 'skills' (putting the 'kills' into 'skills').

If I were to answer "Fantastic! You are a deity of the arts! God painted all the beauty in the world with the shit from your arse!" then that would be 'false kindness'. This false kindness is the root cause of mediocrity in society. If everyone is politely telling everyone else that what they are doing is good enough then we'll never actually get anything that is good.

So, who is more polite? The sycophant who says "what a lovely painting!" while secretly thinking that they've vomited more impressive creations; or the person who says "the painting sucks, and I don't mean in a good 'oral sex' kind of way! Stop befouling my sight with it!"

I think the answer is obvious.